| Sam facing down Shelob with the light of EƤrendil |
Alright guys. Yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning (around midnight to 1:30), my flatmate Alexis and I faced our greatest challenge up to that point in Oxford--a spider. A spawn of the devil. A horror to behold. AND IT WOULD NOT DIE.
First, it should be clarified that I am have arachnophobia. I don't like bugs of any nature in general, but arachnids--they send me running for the hills. So imagine my vexation when I opened my door and right in my path, much too close for comfort, in my doorway was a huge, ugly spider.
Now, Alexis has killed spiders for me in the past. And although it was almost 12 in the morning, we had both been up not long before, so I messaged her. She graciously came to rescue me--but was unprepared for the monstrosity before her.
What followed was an inelegant dance--the spider at first sitting in my doorway, me trapped in my room, her trapped in the hall--while we tried to talk each other into killing it. I bore myself with no small measure of embarrassment. Then it moved out of the doorway and along the wall--toward our other flatmates' room. I put on my boots but didn't dare to get so close. Alexis grabbed her crutch, and I summoned my courage and smushed it--or at least tried. We thought we had succeeded in smashing it in the corner of the wall. But we weren't sure. I tried again. It didn't move. Then Alexis tried--and it moved.
It ran away and into the living room! She put on one of my boots and took the crutch. She tried to get it with the crutch, but it wouldn't die! And then she stepped on it--and yet it lived, the fiend. Then she stepped upon it and ground it with fury into the carpet, whereupon its miserable life of inflicting terror ended.
Much shaken, we went to bed.
Now that our fearsome foe has been so valiantly vanquished by Alexis, and the mangled corpse removed and disposed of by myself yesterday morning with the aid of the mighty vacuum, and time has helped to alleviate the ghost of the memory of our horrible battle, I thought I could share with you a photo of our devilish adversary. I was going to post it on Facebook. But no--its horror is too great to allow it to mar my timeline and infest my Facebook photos for all eternity.
But, all should know of our exploits, the vileness of the villain our eight-legged enemy, and Alexis' bravery. Accordingly, look below at your own peril (of nightmares). *cough, cough, Logan, cough*

NOPE. NOPE, NOPE. I WAS WRONG. CAN'T HANDLE IT.
...and goodnight. Hopefully next time I'll have happier tidings. :)











